Dating your co-workers will always be a bad idea - no exceptions.

My co-cocktailer, Vivian and I decided that we were going to call SoapNet to pilot her, and by default mine as well, work drama. Wherever there is romance to be found in the restaurant industry, disaster is sure to follow. There is a lesson to be learned from dating co-workers - don't do it.

Despite my abundant warnings, Vivian said yes when one of the cooks on culinary loan asked her out - we'll call him Rico: Their first date out to the bar was going seemingly well until they took some shots called "applesauce shots." After downing their first drink of the night, lover boy promptly threw up all over the bar and himself, the shot didn't "sit well" - no kidding. He threw up on the bar. Is this real? You can't write drama this good. First strike, not counting the fact that he doesn't pull his pants up the whole way.

After a few weeks of "dating" he started asking Vivian for money. Despite her misgivings, she loaned him $50 - which he actually paid back, this seems like bonus points, if we leave out the part where he borrowed her car all of the time and occasionally stood her up.

As the weeks wore on and Vivian became more attached and Rico more in-debt, he began to habitually stand Vivian up and was borrowing larger and larger sums of money from her. While we are working one night, the hostess, who had a convenient friendship with Rico, mentioned casually to Vivian that he texted her (the hostess) from the back of a cop car and had been arrested.

Evidently, while out driving, he was pulled over, in his own car, because half of his windshield is missing... Needless to say, when the cops made him get out of the car they found drug paraphernalia. Thus, he wasn't going to be able to meet Vivian. Just like any other normal girlfriend, Vivian and the hostess went to bail out Rico, finding out that he had not been registered at the Allegheny County Jail - being that he actually wasn't arrested. Strike two: telling his girlfriend he was in jail so he didn't have to hang out with her.

The third strike was the hardest. Vivian found out that she was carrying Rico's baby. Long story short, she ended up having a miscarriage after one month because of Rico's excessive drug habit. Before finding out that she was no longer a mom-to-be, Vivian told Rico about her pregnancy - to which he promptly replied that she was lying and a crazy bitch. Like this pretty, two-college-degree holding cocktailer would lie about being pregnant with the baby of drug user who lives in the basement of his younger brother's house. C'mon Rico, be realistic.

After a week Vivian gave up on getting her money back. After all, when her broke ex-boyfriend threatened her with a restraining order and screamed obscenities about her in the kitchen, we knew he was the one who needed the psychiatric help.

The last two weeks Rico has called off work all but one day and owes the bartender a couple hundred bucks as well. Looks like he's not coming back.

Just the other day when one of the servers asked Vivian to go out - we just looked at each other. I clearly informed him that she doesn't date co-workers. Besides, in the sentence following "Want to go out sometime," he said "I want to be a breeder." And that definitely would have been a poor life decision.

The sad part is, this is all true.